Meanderings

...coaches don't have designated seating
...but cinemas do
...the likelihood of being turned into pedestrian pate is incredibly high
...there are very few marked pedestrian crossings
...most pedestrian crossings are indicated only by a dip in the pavement and groups of tourists huddled and growing old standing on said dips
...cars have right of way on zebra crossings
...and if they're turning, when the little green man has lit up
...if you get hit by a car on any of the pedestrian crossings, you are at fault
...it pays to only walk around cities when all the cars have gone to bed
...you order and pay and take a number at the counter at all cafes, none of this order, eat, pay business
...eskies are called chilly bins (which actually makes a lot of sense)
...thongs (flip flops) are called jandals (which...I don't know what to say about this)
...the two dollar coin is larger than the one dollar coin (which, as locals kept reminding me, is the right way around)
...bushwalking is tramping
...there really are sheep everywhere
...and cows
...and red deer
...and, as you might have guessed, ducks
...there are Visitor Information Centres in every town
...if there are only three buildings on the main street of a tiny town, one of them is guarenteed to be a Visitor Information Centre
...whoever built the roads was paid per corner
...Rose Gardens grace every town, city, park
...bees are three times the size of bees in Australia
...I have an accent that confuses people
...I have an American accent (a Pom thought this)
...I have a Kiwi accent (a Kiwi thought this)
...I have the BBC version of the Australian accent (a Kiwi thought this)
...ducks in large groups are quite scary
...goats are the spawn of Satan, and look it
...turkeys are incredibly ugly
...everyone drinks Speights beer (I'm assuming it's like VB)
...everything in New Zealand is the second biggest
...or third longest
...or eightyeighth highest
...or first coldest
...or twelth broadest
...in the world
...Kiwi people are ridiculously friendly, helpful, lovely, open, smiley, all embracing and loveable
...Kiwis (the bird) are very hard to see
...but incredibly cute when you do see them
...Rotorua really does smell like rotten eggs all of the time
...Mt Ruapehu is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
...public transport in some of the cities leaves something to be desired
...soy milk is soya milk
...the honey smells great
...three quarters of backpackers are the most attractive people on earth (it's like a Beneton advert come to life)
...museums are fun
...art in all of its permutations is considered a viable career choice
...there are some ridiculously brilliant painters in the Canterbury region
...Maori culture and language is embedded into everything
...from street signs
...to museum information boards
...to train and coach commentaries
...did I mention the commentaries on coach trips? (Oy vey.)
...but the Waitangi Treaty is still questioned
...and Maori people are still protesting against the status quo
...there is more jade than you can poke a stick at in souvenir stores
...someone here thinks that ashtrays made out of paua shell are a good idea
...internet cafes are always full
...apostrophes are used in a bizarrely haphazard manner
...leading me to suffer from apostrophe fear
...the water tastes funny in Dunedin
...it's like they filtered the water through a pine scent car freshener
...if possible, towns will advertise themselves as "from the mountains to the sea"
...Te Papa museum in Wellington is the bestest museum in the world
...you can't smoke in bars
...but there are little specially set up smoker's areas everywhere
...recycling is still in its infancy
...the national dish is the toasted sandwich
...which explains why panini are so popular
...tourists are always welcome
...and often right
...everyone will ask you to come back
...rugby is a beautiful game, with poetry in every move
...or so I was told
...Australians are slow, stupid and do strange things with sheep
...but then again, you could say that about Kiwis
...if you can't take a joke, you're not any fun
...Australia is the West Island
...otters are very very small
...dolphins are really really big
...and incredibly playful
...and fearless
...and will turn human beings into whimpering giggling masses
...nowhere on earth is as mindmeltingly wondrous as these islands
...and I don't want to leave